


I’ve Got You

by BiblioPan



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Cunnilingus, Enthusiastic Consent, Episode: s05e01 The Crowening, Established Relationship, F/M, Face-Fucking, Humor, Puns & Word Play, Semi-Public Sex, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:15:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21677356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiblioPan/pseuds/BiblioPan
Summary: While on the ropes course (in S5 e1 The Crowening), Alexis plays a little game and Ted learns squat days pay off!
Relationships: Theodore "Ted" Mullens & Alexis Rose
Comments: 16
Kudos: 36





	I’ve Got You

Ted grinned so hard at Alexis that he was pretty sure his face would break in half. As the motivated girl boss shimmied from the ropes towards the treetop, he thanked the universe again for sending her back his way (and better than ever). Alexis grabbed Ted’s outstretched hands and pulled herself up onto the canopy landing. She exhaled as she pressed into Ted and felt his hands slide down her back, landing on her spandex covered ass. He pulled her in for a kiss, which she welcomed, even though Ted was gross and sweaty and stupid helmets were in the way. She appreciated Ted’s constant quest for affection. If Ted wanted to kiss in front of other couples and gawking squirrels then so be it!

Actually, now that the ropes course was almost half done and they all had the hang of it (ugh, even David), what if she made it a little more interesting? Could she push Ted further out of his comfort zone than facing his recently overcome fear of heights?

“Um, love these surprise smooches babe, but how about we keep going? I don’t want to get crowded up here with ‘other couples,’” Alexis said, trailing her fingertips over her boyfriend’s stunningly toned abs and scooting around the tree trunk to the next section of the course. 

Ted gasped as Alexis’s fingers left his midsection. He turned away from the curvy view to his left in an attempt to collect himself. ‘Be cool Mullins. You’re up in a freakin tree with the hottest woman you’ve ever seen naked. You can DO this!‘

“Ted! Are you coming?”

“On my way! These views are unbe-leaf-a ble!” Alexis would have rolled her eyes, if she hadn’t needed them open to watch for Ted’s approach and to remain firmly upright on the landing. She reached for Ted’s hand and let her middle finger glide through the center of his palm and trace along the lines there. 

He leaned against the tree momentarily as the shock of her touch traveled through him and landed in his pants. When he’d thought long enough about stinky farm animals to continue, Ted turned to chastise Alexis but she spoke before he could articulate his frustration. “Babe, is something wrong? Is it the height?” Alexis queried, her eyes full of concern.

She must’ve just been trying to calm him down and he misunderstood. Simple mistake and Ted needed to stop projecting. Alexis was walking sex but that wasn’t what this date was about today!  
Ted gently shook his head, gave Alexis a peck on the cheek, and began walking across the next section of rope. “Nope, good to go!”

Alexis continued finding new spots on Ted’s physique to graze, tweak and nuzzle, as they made their way to the end of the course. By the time they reached the last tree, Ted’s face flushed from far more than exertion. “Hey, Ted, hey. Why don’t you go down first so you can be back on solid earth? Can’t have you getting all fainty up here.” Alexis’s voice had gone soft with concern and Ted nodded his head in agreement. 

With far more intense concentration than he thought would be needed at the beginning of the adventure, Ted made his way to the bottom of the ladder. He placed his hands on his hips and took several clarifying breaths. “It’s okay Ted,” Alexis called as she descended. “Just come over here so I can hug you as soon as I get down, k?” Ted stared up at the callipygian ass, wrapped in black spandex, bouncing suggestively and now headed his way. 

As Alexis wrapped her arms around his neck and tucked her face into his shoulder, he responded in kind by pulling her body flush against his. She softly scraped her nails along his hairline before popping open the clasp and removing his helmet. The moment she repeated the action for her own, Ted grabbed the helmet from her and threw it on the ground. 

“Ted! I know they’re fugly but we have to return those.”

“Alexis needs a well-lit photo for her insta!” Ted hollered over his shoulder as he pulled her away from the curious eyes on the course and marched them both to a section of trees he hadn’t frequented since high school.

“Ted! Where are you taking me? I don’t want David to have some kind of ‘panic attack’ again and not know where I am.”

“David’s fine,” Ted whispered into Alexis’s neck as he walked her backwards towards a towering oak tree. “Patrick’s got him. And you are going to pay for your little games.” Alexis groaned as Ted accentuated the last statement by grinding his growing erection into the crease of her thigh. He licked the sweat from her neck with the tip of his tongue, beginning at her clavicle and ending at her earlobe.

“Ummm Ted,” Alexis moaned as he slowly thrust into her and bit down.

“I want to make a new memory out here Alexis. One you haven’t had with anyone in Schitt’s Creek,” Ted managed between kisses.

“Yes, yeah, let’s do that Ted. Whatever you want.”

Ted shimmied down Alexis’s toned body and pulled her pants and underwear down to her ankles. He prayed that his squat days were enough for the next move he was going to attempt. “If you’re ready to try something new, bend your knees and jump for me Alexis.” 

“Um, challenge accepted Ted Mullins,” Alexis responded and did as he asked. She felt Ted lift her up onto his shoulders. Her bent knees rested on his shoulders and her legs dangled down his sculpted back with her clothes scrunched around her ankles.  
As she pushed her back against the tree and placed her hands on top of Ted’s head, she felt him press slow, steady kisses to her clit. 

“Ted, please, god, please,” Alexis moaned, tossing her head side to side. 

Ted smiled as he dragged his tongue through the center of her pussy. He pressed up on her ass and used his thumbs to spread her open even more. “God yes, Ted, more,” Alexis murmured, bucking into his mouth. Kneading the space where her ass met her thigh, Ted took Alexis’s clit deeper in his mouth, sucking and nipping, until Alexis could only make keening sounds and grapple for purchase above her head.

“Fuck my face baby. Don’t hold back,” he pleaded between swirling and sucking on her pussy and clit. Alexis’s whimpers entered a higher range and she shoved her hips forward, faster and faster, until she shook with release.

Ted pushed her up, moved his head out from under her legs and lowered Alexis to the ground. As soon as her feet touched soil, he pulled her pants and underwear back into place and let her lean on his sturdy frame. He wiped his face with his shirt, his pride impossible to hide. 

With a dopey grin on her face, Alexis wobbled back towards Ted’s car, holding onto his outstretched arm. Ted pulled her closer and whispered, “Don’t worry babe. I’ve got you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow y’all. I’m here outside of the comments! 
> 
> Big thanks to 8jodaiko for your beta magic!! I couldn’t have done it without you. 😘
> 
> Rosebudd: You’re Simply The Best.
> 
> This is to make up for every M/F story I’ve read where the women “don’t need all that oral because they’re ready for the REAL sex.” That’s stupid, lies, and real sexy people of all genders know it!!! Orgasms for people without penises too!


End file.
